Saturday, 15 November 2008

Atheism and Disability

I was 13 when I decided that there was enough evidence for me to not believe in gods and the supernatural. Emotionally it's saved my life, with no one to blame for my bad luck, genetics and life choices (that's my taste in music, not my taste in woman, that goes under genetics!) means that I get to enjoy my life and accept me for the awesome chica that I am! It means that when faced with the long term illnesses I have I can acknowledge them and then fight it all the way. It means that my sexuality is not a thing that I should hate myself for. So loving myself and improving on my life is what I am all about. With a religion and gods in my life I'd hate myself (and did when I believed in the christian god) and would have to accept my life, as that would be his plan.

There would be no way I could accept some sort of Divine plan that I am disabled for my own good! It sucks, how could a god give me all the good things in my life then give me all the shit things that go along with it? And logically the possibility of gods is highly improbable (as you know you can't prove a negative, just as you can't prove the invisible pink unicorn doesn't exist [as symbolised above]!)

I am happy, atheist and chronically Claire.

Wednesday, 12 November 2008

Pennies, pain and pans!

My Kitchen

My friend Nath is having a Fibro Flare today and needs a hand with the dishes. I wish I could help him, I would but he lives in Scotland so by the time I'd get there I'd be spoonless!

I am focusing on saving my spoons and having very little help at home is not only taking up my spoons but Oli's too. We are both running on a spoon deficit. When I clean up, I get over whelmed with fatigue afterwards, I pull muscles and the pain is very overwhelming. I may look OK, gorgeous and in a good mood, but I'm always in pain.
We get no help at all, we can't afford to hire a cleaner. We don't get any help from family or friends, and by the time we have cleaned up, Oli has no spoons left to help me manage my pain, and I have no spoons to make him a cuppa. Sex is out of the question when the house is a mess!

I felt really embarrassed recently when Rehan came to stay and the place was a mess, he helped me with the dishes, we both had a sponge each!

Most people see us on the outside, Oli has friends round once a week for gaming etc, I rarely have friends or family round, and none of our friends (minus Rehan *wink*) would be willing to help. Whether they see our situation and think us lazy, or think that once they start lending a hand they'll never stop, or that we could never repay the favour I just don't know.

I don't know if Oli can see it, but he needs help too. He can't be expected to clean everything up.

What I am basically saying is that if I get help it saves me spoons, so I can save spoons for you! People can get the best out of me, and I can get the best out of life.

So what can we do? Could you give us a hand? Or is our situation too much of a burden?

Tuesday, 4 November 2008

Completed Physio feel really good for it, it's the kick in the bum I needed. I feel better and better each day with enough motivation to step up my routine. Still trying to get to a warm water session but my pain has subsided just enough that I can concentrate on my daily routines.

The pictures are of the pool where I did my physio sessions, the people there were really nice and friendly and very helpful, I really would love to go back (though the 8.30 am ambulance was a bit much!) I should ring today!